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In 1999, Scottish Poet and playwright Carol Anne Duffy (Poet Laureate 2009-2019) published “The World’s Wife”, a book of 30 poems focusing how the women behind the men, viewed the events. It included Mrs Midas, Queen Herod, Mrs Sisyphus, Mrs Quasimodo, The Devil’s Wife, Frau Freud, and more. However, amongst them was not Mrs Noah, so I thought I’d have a go myself. Best listened whilst following the words. And thank you to all my sunscribers, followrs and listeners. Best regards to all, Josh.
“He was never so happy as when he had a project: but this — an ark? And a bloody big one too. I mean, work-shops, wood-stores, animal shelters — fair enough but a bloomin’ great ark? Though I’ve got to hand it to him at nearly 600 years old he’d lost none of his DIY skills. Anyway, I’d learnt the hard way if a man gets a bee in his bonnet about something it’s best to let them get on with it, and say nought. Then the animals — talk about confusing. First it was two of each, then seven, plus two only of unclean animals. I’m no good at maths, or cleaning, so I left the boys to sort it out. But did they really have to bring on board rats as well - and, for Chrissakes, snakes! Weren’t they the ones who started all this mess? But at least dinosaurs had died out, irksome beasts. Anyway, worst bit was fending off all those drowning people. Shem, Ham & Japheth with their father, each poking long hard sticks shouting “We’re the good guys, piss off you evil bastards”. Terrible affair. But as a woman I had no say. Had fun with my three daughters-in-law though. We made a good foursome playing Bridge to fill in the months. I like to sift truth from the modern trend of embellished story-telling. The dove that brought back the olive leaf, for example; after nearly a year of the olive tree being submerged in water — I mean, come on. What’s more, Noah wasn’t the only doom-sayer boat-builder on the planet — of course other people survived. And rainbows, well, they’ve sure been around a long time, way before the ark. Anyway, after landing it was quickly back to same-old same-old and being a non-person, barely noticed, I decided to bugger off and do my own thing. Met a nice young woman too only 100 years old and we settled down comfortably together while I wrote my memoirs. I heard the old goat Noah lived another 350 tedious years and became a cantankerous drunkard cursing his grandson Canaan. I was glad to be out of it, you know. 200 years together puts quite a strain on a relationship. I’ve got to say this though I’ve lived through interesting times. The Tower of Babel was the next big news but that’s another story. And by the way, I do have a name; it’s Na’amah. And it means ‘sweet and pleasant’.”
(© Joshua F.D. Bond)
How fun! :)
Fantastic Josh! So unique. I loved the reading. Your voice just fits this so well. Yes, that damn snake. The boys forgot the unicorns as well! Carol Duffy has got nothing on you! I love your wit and how are you tie all together with future relationships, and all!